We’re on day # 5 with Gizmo, and so far, we’re doing alright. We’ve decided to take baby steps and celebrate the little accomplishments. This week? We’re just associating us with positive things. We’re not trying to tackle big things, like being able to really walk toward him or using a leash, but instead acclimating him to our presence. We’ve been giving him treats and toys, simply handing him good things as we walk past, and we can actually pet him if he’s approached painfully slowly and already snuggled next to one of the other dogs. 
Baby steps! He’s been sleeping on my legs or between us still – wherever another pup is.
As for the other pups, they’re doing so well. Princess Emmie has been anything but, getting up with me at 3am to stand around in the cold while we wait for Gizmo to potty or helping me corral him anywhere I need him to go by going there first. She’s a bit of a mother hen, always giving him kisses and snuggles, wrestling with him when he’s bouncing off the walls, grumbling him back into place when he grumbles at us. She’s really an asset – even Sean has commented that we probably wouldn’t be able to do this without her help, LOL. I think she’s just very intuitive, and although she gives me plenty of, “Are we really seriously keeping that?” looks, I think she maintains patience because she realizes he’s a little bit damaged and needs the extra love. Bailey is his usual good self, following him when needed and providing a nap buddy. He’s even shared his beloved pillow without so much as a grunt. All in all, we’re doing well. Thank you guys for all the positive words – hopefully no one minds if I track his progress on my blog?
This weekend we added a third moo to our pack.
Gizmo is a 1.5 year old male Cavalier and he’s very special. Gizmo is a puppy mill survivor – that means, alongside being a rescue pup, he’s also going to be a very large “work in progress” in our home.
Up until six weeks ago, Gizmo was living in a commercial breeding facility as one of the ’stock’ – a place where dogs are bred for online pet stores and pet shops. Puppy mills, if you will. He didn’t have a name. He had a stock number. Dog # 232. Many sites/stores will tell you their puppies come from local breeders, raised in loving homes (cough Petland cough) – but they don’t. If they can’t produce the paperwork or give you the address to investigate yourself, they’re bluffing, and laws doesn’t currently exist to really penalize that fabrication. Many sellers work around this truth because they purchase store stock through puppy brokers, who purchase dogs from commercial breeders during auctions, enabling the shops and sites to claim their puppies come from healthy, loving, hobby breeders.
Gizmo’s mill is run by a woman and her two sons, producing endless breeds, and raking in salaries over $100k per year. They’ve been fined four times in recent years for neglect or abuse by the USDA and they’ve had over 103 dogs confiscated due to conditions in the past. Gizmo was born, and spent the first year plus of his life, in small wire cage, stalked atop other cages, filled to the brim with siblings and likewise. He doesn’t know human contact (and the little he does was not kind), he doesn’t know grass. He experienced so little and lived so inhumanely that he is scared of everything.
Sneezes. Movement. Cars. People going from sitting to standing. Human touch. Leashes. You name it, it’s new, and it’s frightening. He’s not my first rescue, but he is my first mill rescue, and it is an entirely different ball game. Per the experts:
“Rehabilitating a puppy mill dog is a long, slow process, and success is by no means certain. On average, it takes 6 to 8 months to see progress in the transformation. Mill dogs know nothing about being a beloved pet, or companion, or playmate. These dogs have lived in wire cages, eaten poor quality food, been forced to share their cages with many other dogs, never had the proper medical care, and have never known the human touch of affection and kindness. They are used to lying in their own excrement, and the excrement of other dogs that share the same fate. Not only will these dogs bring tremendous training challenges, they will also challenge your patience and commitment as you attempt to integrate them into your family life. Many of these dogs are shy. Many are fearful. Many will bark at, or run and hide from, the “normal” sounds of a household – the doorbell ringing, a child’s joyful squeal, the running of the vacuum cleaner, the jangling of car keys.”
The one thing he does know is other dogs – and having Emmie and Bailey has made him feel better. Being in their company, he is at ease. Much to their demise, he lives under them and where they go, he goes, what they do, he does. It’s actually helping. We can’t approach him, but if we catch him next to one of the dogs and move slow, we can pet him. He learned toys aren’t so bad (and is also learning what isn’t his to hoard – aka no, he can’t steal the bath rugs or my sock or phone…). He learned the stairs, slowly, by bribing him with treats and Emmie. He attempted the dog door. He’s a gentleman to the cats. And despite the fact his coping mechanism is to yell, growl and hide from everything new (the dishwasher, me brushing my hair, Sean making coffee, switching rooms — no joke, we spent four hours last night being barked at, full volume, endlessly… but we ignore it and he’s already lessening this morning), he’s making his own version of progress. He helped himself onto the love seat to hang with me and the dogs earlier.
He even slept on the big bed. Our best progress was made, oddly, at bed time. It was the first night in his life he slept outside of a cage (mill) or crate (rescue). He waited until he thought we were fast asleep, and then quietly got up and sniffed our faces (!!!), before settling down between us, next to Emmie. This morning, he brought Emmie a toy (who “helped” teach him how to destroy it), and he let Sean hold his food bowl, even if he grumbled the entire time.
Gizmo may never be “normal”, but we’ve decided that’s okay. He’ll get better, we’ll work harder, and he will see that life with people isn’t a nightmare. He’ll be safe. And that’s the entire point anyway, isn’t it?
I am welcoming in the New Year with a sense of determination and optimism. You know, just like every year, and just like everyone else. 
And I’m armed with a ton of resolutions and plans for life changes, just like every previous New Years.
This year, however, I am breaking those goals out – month by month. Rather than start January 1st with 452 things I am going to CHANGE OVERNIGHT *cue marching music*, I am going to slowly but surely attempt to tackle littler things, bit by bit.
Overall, this year is about remembering to learn balance so that I can slowly craft the life I want. I am the queen of open-ended projects and tasks, because I am like uh-mazing at starting things and, er, less than stellar at finishing them because I like to tackle 600 things at once. Patience is a virtue I apparently lack. So this year, I am attempting to make little chunks of difference in many areas of my life: health, happiness, personal time, charitable actions, growth, conquering fears, having adventures, being appreciative. My aim is to post each month’s little goals at the beginning of the month, and then weigh in on how well I was able to keep them – all with a fabulous banner… but I’m out of time right now, so text is all you get!
January’s Goals
Sleep: For someone who wakes at the slightest sound and can take two hours to fall asleep, the very idea that I stay up until 2am when I want to be up by 6am? Ridiculous. Yet that’s my routine. It was all fun and games when I was 23, but I’m 28 now, and girlfriend needs to rest. The aim here is two-fold: Get into bed, lights out, by 11pm and, for the love of god, slowly work up toward waking at 6am. Because as funny as rolling out of bed at 7:30am and flying through the house on a quest for clean pants, coffee, and car keys was for the first 24 months? It’s getting a touch old.
Water: I don’t drink juice. I don’t drink soda. I don’t drink milk. I do, however, thrive on a 16 ounce thermos of honest-to-god-sugar-and-cream coffee every morning and then … forget?… liquids for the remainder of the day somehow. I may get 32 ounces on a good day, and then look shocked when my hair begins to feel dry and my knuckles are flaky. Thus water? Is a goal. I used to down 80+ a day without thinking twice, before We Bought a Coffee Pot, and since then? Shame on me.
Eat at Home: Not only does eating at home typically mean less calories (typically… you’ve apparently never seen the friendship between myself and butter), it’s often healthier (read: butter) and cheaper. Yet when I fell off the gluten-free wagon I really need to be captaining, it was really easy to suggest Domino’s on Fridays (listen.. . they have a white sauce that pairs fabulously with MY FACE) and Taco Bell on Wednesdays and since we’re out, let’s just grab Panda Express. Part of this is that we eat dinner around 8:30-9pm. It horrifies people, I know, but that’s when we’re free and hungry – and the idea of standing in the kitchen for 30-45 minutes to cook at 9pm? Doesn’t always sound like a party. BUT the budget-conscious in me has taken over, and it’s my goal! We did it second nature when Sean was laid off, so it’s quite possible. So even if it’s a frozen pizza being heated up, if it’s at home, I’m counting it!
Game Planning: Between working full-time, college part-to-full-time, my Etsy shop, a husband and a small zoo, I need to stay on top of The Life if I think I am going to add in things like training for 5Ks, more volunteer work, more personal time, more travel, more naps, etc. I even suckered in and got a new planner – which I’m sure will get filled in for a week before I leave it in the study and forget I even had one!
Move More: Whether it’s vacuuming, dancing, dog walking, or actual real exercise – my aim is to simply be moving more than before.
Stop Dieting: WHAT? Who says NOT dieting is their resolution?!? Crazy people, that’s who. Last year, I read an amazing book. And, despite her own tale of how she actually gained weight at first and it took her a year to get the swing of not dieting, I ignored it. I was going to lose right away. Be amazing. I was going to be the tops at not dieting, watch me go! And, much like everything else that takes time and patience to succeed at, I blew past it full force and.. ran out of steam a few months in. It’s taken me this long to really accept how hard it is, how terribly uncomfortable and stress-inducing it is, for me to not diet. This will, by far, be the hardest chunk to tackle in 2012 and be on-going. I’ll expect failures and successes and will just need to keep chugging through. No faking that “this is a lifestyle change” but it’s really a diet. No cleanses. No pills. No counting. No programs or apps. Just no diets. For my health.
What are your NY’s goals or aspirations (if you’re the non—new-year-goal-y type)?
Lately I feel like I’ve finally had fun things to blog about – and absolutely zero time to do it because of them! The curse of the nerd, I tell you! ::shakes fist::
We – the couple who can barely hang a frame in a timely manner (no really, I mean it) – have managed to do the following recently: rip out almost 850 square feet of carpet, padding and tack strip to install new laminate flooring (including an emergency moment where I learned to spackle a foundation level). We’ve painted and installed baseboards and chair rail, we’ve installed three lighting fixtures and we’ve changed our mind three hundred times on a living room rug.
On our list for this week? Finish putting up interior & exterior holiday décor, hang three curtain rods, three DIY chalkboards (sooo fun, sooo needs a post), two frames. Then once we finish painting a dresser, a table, two window sills and take a nap – I’ll be able to post about it in detail!
Also tucked into the “as of now” category? I went from a well-highlighted “natural” blonde to RED hair, I’m trying to balance a position that is becoming exceedingly stressful and I’ve been brainstorming my blog and life goals for 2012.
On that same note, I’ve got the itch again to change my domain name, but everything is already registered for Lamidge or ItsLamidge (aka emails, Twitters, Flickrs, Pinterests and every other social website I can handle)… to do or not to do? THAT IS THE QUESTION!
No, really, that’s the question. I ended it with the proper punctuation and everything.
Summer: 
